Sunday, 11 May 2008

May I have a bottle of whisky please

Back in HK for the weekend.
On the way out the morning stopped to get a bottle of whisky. Now I dont call the American stuff whisky as they distil it once only. I drink scotch at a push 2 times distilled but my favourite is Irish.

Now HK being HK the best is defined not by taste but cost. Go into the Duty Free and you cant buy a normal bottle of Jamesons its all 12 years, in fact that goes for the scotch also. Bastard. I dont want to pay 240 for a bottle I want to pay 100 similar to bkk.

On the subject of scotch, i sometime go to Karoke with shilto. they drink Chiva blue mixed with green tea. WTFITA.

Saturday, 19 April 2008

Capable if shaky hands at the helm??

Couldnt find his arse with both hands

Vietnam has entered the space race. Yes they got a yank to build a satellite, a froggy to launch it from South America and then claimed they were a member of the space team.

Did you know that Nigeria spends 15 million US on space discovery and exploration. Would be easier for the guy who decided that was a good idea to look between his ears. Reminds me of one of my favourite American sayings "couldn't find his arse with both hands"

Went to Dalat Thursday its about 45 minute flight from HCMC. Its high up 3000 feet maybe and looks like one large lettuce farm. The airport is something out of the 1950s all small and tarmac walking. We flew in a turbo prop, I of course got the seat that if it had been any closer to the engine it would have had to be on the wing. My Vietnamese colleague is one of those guys who is all touchy feely. The more I tried to move away, the more he encroached upon my space. He also says a number of words that require considerable flapping of the lips and discharge of spit.

Vietnam, what can I say. It has probably the largest percentage of good looking young girls I have ever seen. If this alone were not enough to get the pulse racing they have disparportinatly large breasts on a tiny little frame. And, if the Fume is reading they squeeze the whole package into conservative mini skirts white blouse and black jackets, hop on a moped and let the breeze massage the areas that brings a man out in a sweat.

Now, me being a little fat European which apparently makes me look like a laughing Buddha creates all sorts of giggles but not in the Chinese way of covering the mouth but full blown honest to god laughing.

In all my travels I have often wondered why people battle over countries they have no place to be, and Vietnam's people just amplify that thought.

I sometimes, in my more wandering moments wonder who runs a Company that decides cancelling its late night Friday flight to Hong and its early Monday morning flight to HCMC is smoking.

Sunday, 13 April 2008

A dillusion that your really really important

And there you have it

Donald, Fok and other people whose idea of exercise is talking, will carry the Olympic flame. I would like to do a Richard the third with it personally.

"Welcome" to mediocrity, or we only stock what we want has a banner on the wall, love hong kong use less plastic bags. Not love the environment, love the world no love Hong Kong. At the bottom there should be a warning, please remove your head from your arse when reading this.

Hong Kong has three major landfills, that produce huge amounts of methane and have done for about 10 years. The one and only, dare I say gas monopoly run by Asias answer to Warren Buffet He who convinced the masses that the market would stay at 30k cant agree with the EPD (Environmental policy department) to buy the gas. So its flared, bloody flared, what are the bonking shit for brains turnips doing in EPD. At the same time Black point power station is burning coal cos it cant get gas. We are a world city, no argument about that. Well down on the league and slipping further into the abyss. And some Civil (yes I pay your inflated salary ) servant says we have done enough now and the central waterfront should be sold off. These people are so far behind the curve they in danger of being bloody lapped.

Has nobody told Hong Kong that it is a little insignificant spec on the world map. That nobody really cares what happens to it and most people dont really know where it is.

Last night I had dinner and refused to pay the service charge, some of the meal never arrived along with some of the drinks. Although the bits that were missing were charged for. It took ten minutes to get the bill and a further 5 to get a corrected one. When I refused to pay the service charge the manager was perplexed.

You have to pay he said.

I didnt get any service.

Yes you did we brought your food.

No you brought some of my food. I did not get service you, to say I got service would be a gross exaggeration of reality. However I am paying some of the bill.

When you spend time outside Hong Kong you begin to realise that it is a parochial little town, full of people who believe they are important, pop stars that can sing, actors that cant act, people who believe nipples are square and fuzzy and really rude, politicians that cant politic, and property developers that dont care at all. The vast majority of the people believe they will win the mark 6 and that Donald should tell them what to do. Even Singapore has more democracy.

So its back to Vietnam.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

2 million dong

sounds like a mens underwear advert!!

actually the price of a meal with a great bottle of red

met an australian lady living in a village deep south

no land no money no hope for the people in the village she lives in

back to basics to use my skill to create a low cost school, made by low tec methods by no skill people with no money

I love my job, or how I can bend it
so I keep on losing my blog
wrote a huge one about a flight from Thailand where the trolley dolly wanted my phone number and lost it all
do I relay the story no why, I look in the mirror every morning and I am 22 years old, its just getting to the mirror that gets harder

Still when you feel like you look good you look better

madness on two wheels crossing the road would have made the americans leave earlier if it had been like that then

The bars and ambiance is great, only have to pass the occasional spaced bar with gears fighting to keep their breasts in their dresses and knickers off show.

The strange thing is the age of the people all young and anxious

Its a strange place but the national dress has to be the very sexiest I have ever seen

No flesh is best

Work is demanding and keeps me away from the blog but have sorted the IP so can do at night

Found cheap flights to hk so can see the clan regularly

Pate for breakfast, the french may be arseholes but by god they make good bread even in the ex colonies.
whats it all about

5 years in Iraq

Tibet 49 years similar case

Vietnam knocked the shit out of itself has shed loads of military crap over the place and is back to capitalism big time

Solution dont vote at all

then nobody can be a bloody politician

Twat twat twat goes the ceiling fan

Friday, 22 February 2008

I really long post

Its been a very long time without a post

Im sitting in Bangkok airport

I thought I would distract myself by reading a bit of FBT and only read two before i started laughing and security started moving in. Im back now though complete with spelling mistakes.

I dont know really why I have not blogged for a while, guess its been because Ive been busy, dont like paying HK800 for a monthly connection and dont like to use the web at work as that gives away all the business info. So now sitting at the airport waiting to get on a plane to Hong Kong. Ive been in Thailand 29 days and overstayed my visa by 1. The smiling man directed me to a lovely lady in uniform who I hoped would take a very dim view of this minor transgression, but merely chopped and extra day on my visa and smiled, flicked her eyelids and said thank you that way please.

I got taken to the airport by a man suffering from a loose vocal chord. He claimed to a be a policeman and taxi driver, to be 57 with two children 1 boy 4 years 1 lady 2 years. An entertaining fellow who gave me a wonderful guided tour of the expresseways at only 100 baht more than I would have paid had I taken the shorter route.

So thats it now, a bag full of smelly socks and Monday of to Vietnam as our Company has decided to move its regional office to a place which will be difficult to communicate with, fly to or live in.I was sold the dream but reality has quickly taken over. As imagined natural wastage has been a pretty prevalent topic and people have been leaving in droves. What does one do when somebody with 16 years decides enough is enough.

Anyway as I usually leave a place when they fill the swimming pool the thought of Vietnam is not too horrendous. And those wonderful white dresses trousers that the ladies where are absolutely wonderful A statement I made to my wife who appeared not to find the idea so appealing. Still thats me, you can see my chin coming long before I slip into site. A fact that will not have gone unnoticed by my new boss when asking people if they had any questions. The obvious one of why is it that you are such a piece of female genitalia was not asked but others were like why the hell did I join when you have the management style of a nazi.

Still what of Thailand and the last two months. Well Spike was here, behaved, went home. I have become very proficient at pool and believing that I am only 30 until the next morning. Of course the answer to all of that is well I look this way because I drink smoke and avoid women. But Thailand for all its traffic jams and little annoyances is still splendid. Its great to wake up, go swimming in a pool with no lifeguard, ride a motorbike with no helmet and ignore all traffic requirements.

And the food, as long as you have a roll of paper in the freezer its unbeatable. Especially fried chicken at two in the morning. Followed by papaya salad and a honey tea.

Supermarkets that sell bread, real bread with grains in it and real radishes and strawberries from the north. Yes I like Thailand and while those people may complain about the wine I dont think HK250 for a bottle of wine in a restaurant is bad and where can you eat a good steak for HK100.

Yes I shall miss this place but am looking forward to Vietnam especially as I know it has retained its French influence. The food I have had to date has been great.

I have to move forward with the flight so I will stop.

I must say I have missed you all and am looking forward to catching up on my reading.

Thursday, 14 February 2008

Lost in action

I dont think so

Longer post to follow

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Odd couple (sunday)

So it’s been quite from me as life has been busy. Spike has kept me playing pool, drinking and eating but I bailed out back to Hong Kong this weekend to see SILTO and my son O. Have not seen them for a couple of weeks so good to catch up, wash and polish the car while O pulls all the levers so that when you put the key in everything flashes. Good to have some Chinese food also.

So it’s back to Bangkok tonight and on to Vietnam Ho Chi Min and Denang tomorrow. Busy week but life is beginning to settle down, I have a more permanent place to stay with its own spa and just a few apartments all serviced. It’s just the other side of Soi Cowboy which should be central enough for the BTS and supermarkets.

I’m sitting on the plane at the moment contemplating the future, an oldish couple, him a colonial civil servant her a fairly old tai tai have been arguing all the way over. Apparently they have lost a bag, unfortunately it was not one of them. He continually says "stop shouting" and she keeps on winding him up. So as we are about to take off he is on the mobile to somebody god alone knows who trying to track down the bag.

He gives up, she starts speaking on the phone. Now I don’t know whether planes can crash because of mobile phones, and im not in the habit of trying to find out, so I grassed them up to the cabin crew. Maybe when you get old you worry about bags more than death, maybe if you are a Hong Kong civil servant you are so used to putting the general public in danger you become oblivious to it, I really don’t know. I just hope they get off the plane and don’t murder each other until Im through customs. Is life and marriage this bad when you are old. God I hope not.

So what Bangkok like. Would it be remiss of me not to mention the girls. I guess it would, but im not going to. Instead Im going to talk about lettuce. Yes I have decided that the measure of a countries standing on a western benchmark is weather they sell Frisse and Rocket in the supermarket. The answer for Hong Kong is no, unless you go to city super, for Bangkok the answer is YES. And it’s cheap about a quarter of the price of Hong Kong, grown locally and organic. Put that with a million and one varieties of cottage cheese, Olives to die for and real pasta and the supermarkets in Bangkok start to provide a real rationale for why Welcome and Park N Shop are examples of why monopolies are bad.

So on the Lettuce league Bangkok rules, and on other fronts its not too bad. People told me that wine was expensive, however at 250 dollars HK for a bottle in a restaurant I’m not complaining.

SILTO comes Thursday so shopping for the new apartment, and fun together. I miss that .

I also miss my son who was a bit sad when I went today but who comes down for a week CNY I’m looking forward to that.

Sunday, 6 January 2008

blowing the wistle

The lady outside the building is quite strange. She appears to have no defined role except to dress up in a uniform and blow a whistle at the traffic. For some time I wondered if she were in fact a man but I am told that she is in fact a tomboy and has a girlfreind. So its all very clear now.

Spike has commented that we met on Friday. Its strange I had got a visual image of what he would look like but was out of date by a few months. An evening spent discussing all sorts of shit followed by more beers and pool. Me pretending that drinking and playing pool were complementary and Spike complaining every time he got a ball down that he really was not that good. A great deal of fun.

We met in a bar called Gullivers, at this point I have to own up that I make a very poor pervert. It is fair to say that I do in fact fit into the over 40 fattish white man. However on the plus side I am a proffessional have had a number of wives well two, am 6 foot tall have all my own hair none of which grows from my ears or nose unfettered. I also do not come from the UK for two weeks trying to get as many girls into my bed as possible to make up for the other 50 weeks of enforced celabacy or wear tight trousers and white t shirts. I do not wear shorts and believe that a 20 year old atractice thai lady would not find me remotedly interesting if I was not able to provide her with some economic benefit. Which I hasten to add I do not do because I am in fact very fond of my wife, and satisfied in that direction. I am therefore saddened when I see such men holding hands with girls just old enough to be their grandaughters and learing at their cleavage. I just find it all a bit creepy. However life always has two sides and on Friday while playing pool a chap in a wheel chair was receiving some attention from a rather attractive girl.
They were having a laugh and the fact his legs didnt work was not precluding him from taking an active part in the proceedings. Would this happen in the country he came from I doubt it so in reality im confused. On the one hand its all rather tacky and on the other a guy who would normally struggle to gain attention from a pretty girl is satisfied.

but as they say This Is Thailand.

Saturday, 5 January 2008

Welcome to Thailand

Its been really busy the last few days so posting has been thin. Of course this will lead to me being sent to the phiz b list of bloggers which is a price to pay, I suppose.
Im now at a crossroads what to do with this blog, do I pander for views and as such rename it Thai slut I want to do it with you. That should increase the number of my viewers who where medallions, white t shirts and tight jeans and sandals with socks. Or, do I continue as I am commenting on things that annoy.

I am tempted to do something different and record life here in thailand.

This is a permanent post so while Hong Kong will still be home I will be working in Thailand and indo China generally. Its been brought about by a number of things, some related to where
I see Hong Kong going, some related to quality of life and some related to my career. Anyway its a big move, and an exciting one.

So what to do with the blog, I do feel that telling you all about thailand would be more fun than ranting about stupidity in Hong Kong so thats where Im going to start.

I will however occassionally headline with things about the thailand sex industry to improve my numbers and occassionaly I will drivel on about Hong Kong but mostly it will be about daily stuff. So for my one and only reader thats the new format.

All comments would be apprecaitaed

Thursday, 27 December 2007

A look back at 2007

I am sure the papers and the telly will be full of retrospective looks at Hong Kong.
Anson Chan and democracy all of that, but for me it will be another year when the opportunity to effectively regulate red and green minibuses has been missed. This in the face of continued traffic accidents, death and general moronic behaviour of the drivers.

It appears that it is just to hard to fit tachos to vehicles, have speed cameras with cameras in them, train drivers and instant loss of licence for traffic offences etc etc etc. The last prominent case where two minibuses were racing through red lights and killed a few people resulted in a six year driving ban and a short term in prison for one of the drivers. If you earn your living from driving a mini bus the penalties should be such that you think twice about breaking the law.

For those who think this is a load of wittering jibberish read on

Lo So lan, told Kwun Tong Court she was taking Tam Yee Kwan to school and had just alighted from the bus in Mong Kok about noon on January the 7th. with her daughter behind her when she heard the girl cry "mummy" once.
"I turned around and saw her runing alongside the moving minibus" Lo said, bursting into tears.
Resuming her evidence after she had composed herself, Lo said that her daughter was running alongside the moving minibus when she fell to the ground and her head was run over by the vehicles rear tyre.
"I cried out for help. I chased after her," she said. "She was lying motionless on the ground. When I brushed aside her hair that was tangled and covering her face, I saw her vomit blood, but she didnt move. So I told her, "mummy loves you very much" and she moved her fingers once"

The child had become trapped in the minibus door as the driver pulled away. She died in the accident.

If that was your child I think you would want the book thrown at this guy. As a parent who sometimes uses these buses I do.

But, like the double deckers that reguarly throw passengers through the top window and travel on expressways with people standing like sardines, the commuters have the smallest voice and often no choice.

Governments are supposed to protect their people, not by erecting stupid notices or adverts on the telly, or saying dont walk on escalators, but by introducing legislation that requires minibus operators and drivers to operate in a sensible manner and buses to not have people standing when they are on expressways.

Stiil Im sure the transport commitee are too busy discussing where the next road will be to worry about protecting commuters and if they do it will be a token jester like a half seat belt rather than a proper over the shoulder one.

Sunday, 23 December 2007


As I watch it unfold year after year I think back to my childhood with a great amount of, well im not sure really, but I loved Christmas as a kid. Sometimes they were white and I can remember one really well. The 24th was overcast but on the 25th as I woke there was silence and that strange glow that can only mean snow. It was, hooray.

However, Christmas started long before that all of the last week in November there was a rumbling before, lights were turned on, trees put up and Christmas decorations taken down from the loft to be dusted and put back on the tree. I remember the little bits of paper with a sticky end you licked and made chains with, the misletoe and the holly. I remember Blue Peter and the collection of stamps for kids with no food in Biafra or other such worthy causes, followed by John Noakes, Peter Purves and good old Valerie, she was never Val setting light to the Blue Peter studio or standing in Elephant shit. Was life more simple then. Probably not but I rtemembered it as a special time, much the same as my son who is 3 is running around like a mad thing with his hay and food for the reindeer, and his eyes positively shone when we turned the lights on , on our tree at home.

Christmas itself was different it was the only time you saw dates and tangerines and dried figs. Stockings had matchbox cars in them and nobody got a CD or a video game. But all the family came and spent the whole day stuffing themselves silly.

Do I miss it, yes I do. About 6 or 7 years ago I visited Shek Pik Prison here in Hong Kong. The prisoners were to stage a nativity play, and as is the wont with males, the virgin Mary came in for a bit of stick and ample bossom stuffing.

Actually there was two nativity plays one after the other, because you cant have all the prisoners together. Shek Pik is a glum place from the moment you walk in to the moment you leave it is unnerving, windswept and barren. But on that day a little light came into the lives of the prisoners.

Imagine being dressed in brown all year and then the shear pleasure of dressing up as an angel or a sheperd, just dressing in some colour for a change, and not needing the sandals because you have them already. Imagine being able to have a laugh and a joke and listen to the salvation army brass band.

And I guess, if you can imagine that, then I suppose you will have grasped what the spirit of Christmas is all about. For many of the prisoners that would be a day they would hold in their memory much longer than most of the toys others were given would last.

I guess that it took that day to make me reaslise once again, that Christmas is not about what we get but, it is about what we give.

For people who want to read what I wrote about that day, the article was published in the St Johns Catherdral magazine. If you do find a copy send it to me because I lost mine years ago.

And on that note I would wish my reader a Merry Christmas

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Greenland is huge

Wedding card street

For those who were imagining that no action would be taken on demolishing wedding card street until the next meeting of the Town Planning board. Forget it they are knocking it down now. And how do you thread a sycraper through a 1930s market without ripping the guts out of it, filling it up with lift cores and columns and fire escapes and after all that claim its a really really good idea. Not half as good as leaving it as it is and leaving the independent traders to continue to ply their trade. Ar***oles with imagination removed.

For those people who want to get to Sun Yet Sen park go quickly because after 2 years of operation it is closing to be replaced by a swimming pool which is in turn being moved from Western by the new MTR. The new pool park is budgeted at 500 million, yes thats right 500 million. Got to keep all those guys in government busy.

Of course if the harbour wasnt full of shit we could swim there, and on the subject of shit glad to see Hang Seng bank is building bio toilets in China, just imagine all the shit in Hong Kong will in the next 4 years end up on stonecutters to be screened and dumped in the outer harbour. Now imagine you collect the gas before you dump it how many street lights would that power. Still it will never happen because that infrastructure project would require imagination and maybe people having to pay more for dumping their shit which we are told people dont want to do, although they dont mind paying to clean the air.

Ho hum Ive decided to become a celebrity socialite and will hang around parties and getting my mug in the celebs column in the SCMP,

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

Celebrity model

Hard on the heals of Terri Im an ex model socialite we are today gifted with Vanessa Yeung who apparently is a celebrity model. Im not sure if that means she models celebrities, sleeps with them or if fact a new genre has been created.

Removing my fingers from my throat I press on with the article in the standard, which apparently was not sponsored by Ka Wah and read all about the art deco nature of a development in Shatin. This is called " the great hill" obviously straight out of the imagination of the same author who gave us "Nobb hill" Vanessa as I like to call her apparently had a familiar feeling when she first stepped into the appartment complex. Maybe it was the security guard touching her arse, the feeling is not explained.

Ill leave the rest of how Vanessa thought she was in Manahattan but was really in a crap place in Shatin for you to read yourself.

And now I turn to LOHAS park the newest scheme by Li Ka Shing to put people on the housing ladder in estates built adjacent to rubbish dumps and industrial estates, wrapped in touchy feely environmentalism. Apparently this housing estate, sorry luxury development with abundant greenery will have recreational facilitiers to suit every need. This luxury is all to be found in an appartment of about 500 feet useable directly above the MTR station, read shunting yard. Again the article is not sponsored and lofty ceilings are mentioned indication people who are not taller than 6feet should be able to stand up. Noise free toilets are to be installed, now that I would liuke to see after a night on the lager curries.

Ho hum, if you can believe all this you can believe that somebody can be a celebrity model.

Book signings & MTR stations

The man with the Bow tie was getting Sinclaires signature in the FCC last night. How he can walk in there is a wonder but he did. Sinclair appears to have written best wishes from Sinclair. For a man that has not got long to go saying it how it is would have been better. Sad that even in in his final days the need to self censor is still prevalent.

A lady appears to have some editorial function in the standard. Her name is Mary Ma She feels today that taking the piss out of the person who gets loads of dosh from taxpayers is unfair and Legco should stop doing it. Apparently Hong Kong is what it is today because people "sort a better deal". Apparently the bit that only the really connected got it was lost in the print run.

She goes on "instead of continuing to hound Chong, one should be trying to determine where the blame lies" Well my dear Mary, I guess asking the CEO whether the Chairman approved it is a case in point especially when the bloke at the TB said she did. Selina has no recollection I presume which probably is a similar answer to I didnt inhale, she didnt swallow etc etc. Glad to see our poloticians are at least learning.

She goes on to explain that other matters are of equal import such as bonuses for performance when no performance benchmark is set. The reasoning behind all this Mary is that if you can determine the CEO is on the gravy train and the Driver Selina has the lights on but is not steering then the rest is QED. It appears to be yet another example hard on the heals of the department for silly inventions.

Apparently Mary expects that the legislators will be able to determine whether the board gave value for money. So how will they do that. Work out how much the government got in tax fro tourism, take away what the tourist board cost and if its a plus say yes. I do not think you have to be a genius to realise that once again this is an organisation that is run on the basis of grace and favour of the CE.

Now onto more stupidity. The South Island line.

You build a line to South Horizons, Ocean Park and that apparently is pretty much it. Well it would be except there must be a massive scramble on at the moment for all the derlict buildings in Aberdeen so that the developers can make a killing on tuscany towers adjacent to the Ocean Park MTR station.

But there is no stop at Happy Valley, Nothing to relieve Causeway Bay or Wanchai, through which the line runs. If the jockey club want one they will have to pay for it themselves.

Now forgive me if I appear stupid, but the jockey club maintains a monopoly on gambling in Hong Kong and I believe is some sort of Quasi charity. Its revenue is shrouded in secrecy as is its governance, however its punters are the people of Hong Kong.

This institution effectively taxes those who often miss the net and passes it back to the government aften wining and dining on the proceeds. So if the Jockey club pays, it reduces the money it could give to charity and reduces money returned in tax. Does this mean we pay but in the process mostly the poor and stupid who gamble pay. I think it does, nothing like widening the tax base and getting the poor to pay for tourists to visit ocean park in comfort and to add to developers profits after they have left the trough.

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Meanignfull carrers to aspire to

Terri (bloody ) Holladay
Thats her name

Apparently she is a former model and socialite

What the hell is a socialite, a sychopantic drinker of other peoples largess, what is the world coming too, next thing you know it will be possible to be famous for being a big fat Essex girl and getting the puppies out on TV. Sorry thats already happened. Ok wearing no knickers and getting a photographer to snap the nethers, sorry thats happened to.

Bring back Lilly Langtree all is forgiven

Amexed or daylight robbery

Normally I throw all the drivel in the bin that comes with my statments advising that I am seriously in debt. Today however I glanced at a document from Amex that fascinated me.

Here goes its a retrospective introduction of changes. Well thats what it seems to me, the thing is dated December 2007 but relates to changes in July 2007.
But the real gauling thing must be the charges 44.8% APR for a cash advance wow and 42.0% for goods and services.
I may be wrong but I thought there was a level at which interest fell into the loan shark catergory, I thought that was about 36%.
FBT your comments please